A Journal of Sorts
This is my "journal." This is where I'll post my personal thoughts, poetry, passions, photography, and works of art. If you click "Home" it will take you to my main Tumblr.
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Farewell My Friend
Oct 15, 2011
I honestly don’t care either way so this is me saying goodbye.
Farewell to you my dear friend.
May this life be a blessing to you and I pray that the sun shines on you each and every day.
I hope to God you remember that the good times while they lasted.
And I have faith that one day you’ll come around the bend and join me in dance once again.
If only it is for just a moment, I’ll know that this was never meant to be.
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Lord,
Please allow me to get through this with my head held high and fears down low. Will you please continue to bless me and show me the answer through this. O God, save me from these misfortunes and show me light for this weary soul grows restless and breaks under exhaustion. I shall be forever thankful and praise the gift you have already given me and will be joyful when this chapter is finished so I may turn the page and begin a new chapter. Thank you Father.
Amen and amen.
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Just cause I can and haven’t made one in years…
Dear Santa,
For Christmas I want:
My brother to come home from Afghanistan and allow him to see his wife and two boys.
For my grandpa’s mind to come back and to quit harassing my grandma.
My mom to find a new job to pay the mortgage and the bills so we don’t get evicted.
To be able to speak to my dad without feeling miserable.
Get the chance to see my little brother and sister for the first time in three years.
For my best friend to quit the partying and go back to his old ways.
For everyone in my family to quit dying.
For my friend’s PDST to go away and forget what happened on the fateful day in Afghanistan.
For all my military friends, my childhood friends, to all come home safely.
To be able to just have a friend I can feel comfortable to talk to.
To go a day without stressing out on whether or not my headaches, waves of vertigo, and abdominal pains are not some disease that I can’t even afford to go to the doctor for.
To be able to find the right girl for me so I can hold her hand, to sneak a kiss on her cheek when she isn’t looking, to be able to lay awake at night watching the stars, to watch movies with, to drink coffee with, to discuss nerdy things like books, games, art, music, and whatever else comes to mind. A girl that will accept me for who I am and what I stand for. Someone who will appreciate the tattoos I have and the decisions I have made in life. Someone who isn’t afraid to get in a car with me and just drive somewhere in any which direction and take on whatever the world throws at us.
A week off from work, school, and everything else just so I can deal with the rest of crap going. I’m just tired of working 50 hours a week, taking 16 credit hours, running my church’s cafe, only sleeping 4 hours a night, giving my mom my full paycheck so we can continue to live in this house, and getting my heart stomped on.
No matter what though, I will always be ok with things in my life because they make who I am and continue to make me stronger. No matter what I will forever love the hand I was dealt. I will always enjoy this life I live because I know its my own and no one else’s. Everything I do and experience is a memory to be cherished until the end of my days.
On a less serious note I would like:
Nikon D700
500 Days of Summer
Wristcutters: A Love Story
Stranger Than Fiction
50/50
Fanboys
Fight Club
Juno
Social Network
Zombieland
The Walking Dead Season 1
An endless Barnes and Nobles gift card
Flannel, Button Ups, a vest or two
New pair of Vans that won’t end up stolen
Nonbroken iPod
Nonbroken laptop
Not gonna lie though, I am perfectly happy with just waking up and spending time with my family because I know that’s all I get. My mom already told me we aren’t doing presents this year since we can’t afford it. I’m just happy to decorate the tree with my nephews and see their faces when they open their presents Christmas morning. That’s all I ever wanted in life and all I’ll ever want in life. Family. :D
(Source: aphilosophicalchanging)
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I Just Wish I Could Hold Your Hand
Come sing me a lullaby and lay next to me all night. We can fill each others dreams until the sun rises a new with your bright smiling face.
Let me lie awake holding you until the stars and moon say goodnight. I can hold you tight til the sun breaks daylight.
I’ll tell you a story of children at play, and all of their adventures. I’ll tell you of an adventure from a new friendship to happily ever after.
We can laugh until it hurts to move. We’ll keep on going until time seems to fade or until the world can no longer handle this.
Let me start this from me to to you, and I’ll hold your hand til you let go. Just be weary that we won’t go down that easy.
Babe, I’m in this for the long haul so please don’t look back. Will you please hold on tight and never let go.
So will you come stay awake with me tonight? Can we share stories of epic proportions and create our own journeys. Or will this just be another love story?
Please say no because I want this to be different. I know where love will take you.
I’ll ask you once and only once, will you help me find the quest for true Love or do I set out alone?
The choice is yours, just remember that you’ll never find someone as weird as me.
This was made through txts to the same girl my gif was for. I hit randomly sent this to her and typed it out via my phone in bout five or so minutes. Yea so sorry for any spelling errors and I don’t record or edit my poetry. It’s always raw and from the heart just like it should be.
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Rise To Your Heart
I don’t hide myself from the world, and I don’t hide the world from me. I live in this place here and now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow just this very second that I’m living and breathing. I can’t change the past and I’m not promised tomorrow so why not make an impact today and stand up for what I believe in? This reality is my life and the world I live in so I shouldn’t have to hide my thoughts and feelings. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to express myself? Why should I be told I can’t say that or do that? Why should I have to change my views for someone else? I shouldn’t in anyway, shape, or form; I should live the way I live and if someone doesn’t like it then they can just deal with it. I will never oppress another for their opinions because I don’t want to be oppressed for mine. I have Atheists friends who say they don’t believe in God and I’m going to school to be a teacher and pastor, yet they are still my friends. I love them just as much as the next person and still care for them. So why should you hate someone because they are different? You shouldn’t and shouldn’t hide your feelings. As long as you aren’t bringing harm to another and hurting someone intentionally then I say LIVE! You only live once and only once, there is no get out of jail free card, there’s no redo, there’s no time machine to use. There is just here and now so rise to your heart and live with it as your light, not as your shadow.
(Source: aphilosophicalchanging)
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Life is Philosophy Not Politics!
Also, I’ll be honest, I found it upsetting on how many topics were banned from all of my argumentative papers for my english class. They are all great topics and happen to be my biggest passions. I feel that once you’re in college and out of high school that you should be able to discuss these topics as mature adults rather having a hush-hush about it. I am sorry if I offend with any of this, but I feel like its telling someone, “I want you to express your feelings and thoughts on ‘insert topic here,’ but I don’t want to hear what you have to say because I may not agree with you.” Yes, I know that Ivy Tech is a public school and that by law you can’t express yourself in a classroom, but we’re adults. Yes, I understand that as a professional stand point that it looks bad, but what happened to our rights. I feel that is what should be argued most, but I don’t anyone to feel attacked. I say if you believe in something then wear it on your sleeve and live your life that way. For me personally I have a cross tattooed on me and I literally have “LIFE” on my book bag to show that I am pro-life and there is a cross on my bag too. Just because I share and express my opinions doesn’t mean I’m going to attack you. It just means I know where I stand and I’ll have enough respect to hear you out and DISCUSS the topic with a person. No, I’m not going to look at them any less or hate them for their beliefs. You want to know why? It’s cause that is their OPINION, not MINE. We live in a country where we have rights and freedoms and a chance to stand up for what believe in. I don’t think just because I walk into my job that I should have to leave my heart at the door. This is who I am and I’m not changing it for anyone because this is my life, my way, my view, my beliefs, my values, my opinions, and my outlook on life. I have my thoughts and feelings and so does every other person that walks this planet. I just don’t see why I have to be hush hush about my life. I just wish things were different and not done so political. Life is philosophy not politics for crying out loud!
On a side note, I would never teach my beliefs to any of my students because they have their own lives to live. They have their own decisions to make. They have their own minds to make up. They have their own mistakes and choices to make. I cannot tell them what to believe in, they can only discover it for themselves because if I tell them what to believe in then they’ll only be an empty shell. They won’t have that fiery passion or desire to change the world. They will only ever have what I told them and nothing else unless they pursue it and do their own research to further their beliefs. All I can do and ever will do is hope and pray to God that they make the right decision for themselves. Above that, I hope they stand up for whatever that decision is and never let anyone tell any differently.
(Source: aphilosophicalchanging)
